Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
