ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
