For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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