I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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