He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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