and she was petting her beer can
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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