just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
