i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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