Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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