let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
