idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize