she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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