There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
