I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you made out with another girl for some wings
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
