doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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