I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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