best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
