I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
