Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you win again, gameday.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
