yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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