every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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