if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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