was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
