Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
