I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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