I wish I only lived at night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
