South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
