i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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