I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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