My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
