You don't have asthma, your pregnant
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize