She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's always time for handjobs
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
