we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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