wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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