New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
