Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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