last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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