I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
