I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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