If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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