I must be too annoying 4 u.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
