i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize