It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think i peed on brittanys purse
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Pants are for mortals
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize