I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
