Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
