you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
