he shaved USA in his pubs
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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