at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
