how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
