Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize