Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
