community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
