The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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