i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There r osticjed everywhere
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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