how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
