Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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