Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
