I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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