We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
