Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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