I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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