I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
