Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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