how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
