the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
