my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize