obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
