It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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