I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
