girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
