I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
