I'm lost and stupid without you.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
